Trying hard not to turn into Michael Douglas over here.

In the past year – as I’ve turned 31 and fully entrenched myself in my first decade as an “old man” – you may have had the misfortune of hearing me bitch about poor customer service, which seems to follow me around every corner just to punch me in the back of the head. There was the unfulfilled order at McDonald’s that cost me the last $4 I had on a perfectly good gift card (“no cheese on my snack wrap” does not mean “no snack wrap,” idiot). There was the unfulfilled order for nine at the Fort Dodge burger joint that resulted in a painful phone call (“Well, sir, you could come back and pick up the sandwich.” “….. Or?”) and, amazingly, a make-good gift certificate for more greasy fast food. There was the *other* McDonald’s screw-up where I asked if they had grilled chicken, then I ordered a grilled chicken, then I was asked if I wanted a grilled chicken, and *then* I received a crispy chicken, causing me to pull a profanity-laced U-turn in front of the whole drive-thru lane, which graciously let me hop back in line, possibly out of fear that I was about to “Falling Down” some fools.

Yuck, I’m eating a lot of fast food lately. I think that’s my biggest problem.

Yeah, this won't help me get into my tux any faster.

I have even influenced others’ poor decisions, namely and recently suggesting that best-man Max go to Taco John’s instead of Burger King as “they’re less likely to mess up your order, and you’ll get more bang for your buck.” Well, he got his bang, but not in the intended way: He witnessed one clerk quit on the spot with seven customers in line, his burrito looked half-eaten, his Potato Oles were still mostly frozen, and his hot wings flew the coop. Read more about it here: http://isnotawasteland.com/2012/04/13/the-grind/

More relevant to the wedding, our attempt to finish our gift registries left us with a mostly sour taste in our mouths thanks to the ineptitude of Kohl’s employees, who, slack-jawed, watched me unknowingly start a second registry, which is why if and when you choose to purchase a gift for us from this fine department store, you’ll be greeted with two Carly Konecny-Eric Nelsons, one of which is unable to display any gifts. Yes, in this case, I was the dumb one, but you’re only as smart as your teachers. (More about gift registries in a future post.)

Customer service is dying, and the casket for service after the sale is all but nailed down and six feet in the ground. That’s why I was pleased as punch, when searching for caterers, to find one who was completely up front about costs, liabilities, expectations, offerings, and did I mention costs?

Our venue, Sticks, has a list of preferred caterers, meaning there are caterers who do business with Sticks on a regular-enough basis that they know the alarm codes and the rules and regulations around the venue’s use and can let themselves in and out at will. Sticks’ list consists of restaurants where Carly and I have dined and enjoyed, establishments we’d had yet to try, and caterers whose sole business is delivering food on an as-needed basis. And out of the bunch on the list, one – Christiani’s – stuck out for a few reasons: Its menus were all broken down into their components – appetizers, tapas, buffets, plated options, desserts, drinks and more – and all items and services were paired with prices.

This sounds like a minor thing – “Really? A business told you how much its food would cost?” – but wait until you need to search for a caterer and see how you bat. If 50 percent of the businesses you look at are completely forthcoming about every price tag, from the beef-chicken-pasta buffet option to the per-head bartender service with hosted drinks, I’ll eat my hat.

Christiani’s had the most informational Web site, and the reputation to match. The family-owned business is well regarded in the Des Moines area for its food and its high level of customer service. Many reception venues feature Christiani’s on their preferred list, leading us to believe the staff is efficient, respectful and easy to work with.

And we were proven right the first time we spoke with Peter, the front-man for Christiani’s. I’ll write more about the trials and tribulations of nailing down our venue, but the soft-spoken Peter was able to bring us (and both of our moms) into the venue and calm our collective nerves. His understated, wry sense of humor let us know he understood our issues leading up to our venue choice as well, which doubled our comfort level. And his knowledge of his own business and the wedding process at large kept us on track during our early planning stages. We couldn’t have asked for a better caterer, so we cut our deposit check as soon as we could.

And we hadn’t even tried the food yet!

You want to talk service after the sale? We bumped into Peter at a bridal show (yes, I am a groom and I went to a bridal show; you can learn a lot there, and you can eat cake, too) and he was happy to see us and eager to host us at a food tasting. Sounded like a good idea to us, trying the food before we serve it to our guests. Carly and I made it to a first-Tuesday tasting and tried our likely buffet options – roasted chicken, beef, and a few pastas from which we were to pick one. We met the head chef and chief Christiani (whose name I’d remember if I hadn’t been stuffing my face full of pesto alfredo tortellini), who happily poured us both red and white wines to accompany what ended up being that night’s dinner (including salad to start). During the meal, without being pushy, Peter helped us make choices about our linens, centerpieces, colors and more, getting out of the way more of the little details that had up until then flown under the radar.

We checked a lot off of our list that day, and we are so grateful for Peter’s foresight, demeanor and thoughtfulness. And his food. You know, I’m not sure we’ve completely settled on that buffet; we may need to come back the first Tuesday of next month, too. (And if we do, I bet they’d still roll out the red carpet for us.) I honestly don’t remember the food from the majority of the weddings I’ve attended, but I hope our guests remember ours. And I hope other vendors decide that, while the customer may not always be right, it doesn’t hurt to make them think they are sometimes.